Chasing the Dream

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Before I left home, my mother told me how proud she was that I finally was fulfilling my dream.

One way ticket. No turning back.

When I landed on English soil, 11th of April last 2014, I thought to myself, “well, this is it.” My childhood dream fulfilled. All the nights I have spent climbing to the rooftops, looking at the stars, my gaze following air trails and my heart yearning to fly…

All the times I have wanted to give up and to give in: all the bullying I went through in high school, all the hate I have experienced when I went through my anorexia and when from an ugly duckling they used to make fun of I transformed myself to a swan gliding gracefully across the ice, all the heartache life has hurled towards me when I started my journey to find out what love meant… I asked God millions of times why He never made things easy for me.

They all seem to make sense just now; and yet at the same time they have become meaningless… all the tears shed and all the times I was convinced that I will never be anything more than this wallflower. They are part of who I was, and they molded me to who I am today.

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